Oh my gosh, that's awesome. They come out healthy. They're really-- Yeah, they come out really squishy.
They pretty much come out toddlers.
Yeah, my son, we had all this cute little newborn outfits. And we had to go down to the gift shop and buy him-- He was already one stage up, right? Yeah, he couldn't fit in any of the clothes we packed him. Think about that. I was like, mom, go find something in the gift shop. Yeah, he's not fitting in it. He came out as a little linebacker already. Yeah. Great.
He's 10 now. Yeah, he's 10. And where does he go to school?
We're down in Cape Coral. So he's at Cape Elementary. OK. Oh, see, did you drive-- you drove there this morning today. How was that like?
You know, it's season, so-- Yeah, because the southbound in the mornings is tough, right? My husband does the commute every day.
From the Cape? Yeah, he works for Collier Enterprises. Oh, OK. Is that on airport? Where are they at? Well, they probably are all over. Yeah, they're off of 41 by the Mercado.
Oh, OK. He's overseeing that new development out by Ava Maria. I forget the name of it. Oh, they're doing something out there? Yeah. Yeah, it's going to be like a second Ava Maria type big community. Really?
It's another world out there. Another world. Yeah, I'm up here all the time. Yeah, well, and he does that every day. How long has he worked for them for Collier? He's been there two years. Do you like it? Yeah, he likes it. He was at Lenar before.
Oh, it's got to be a big difference. Yeah, so he was doing more home building. Now he's getting to do land development, which he's enjoying.
That's a great company, really family oriented. Yeah, it's so different than Lenar. Lenar's so huge. And the Collier company, Collier family, they've done so much. I didn't know what they were up to lately. I didn't know what they-- because there were a couple fragments of the family, the grandkids or whoever of the Collier family. They're still doing a lot of different things. Yeah.
He's enjoying-- yeah, he enjoys it. Doesn't mind that hour. He makes the commute work. Yeah.
Which bridge is the good bridge to take? Is there only one to come over? Yeah, there's two. We always do the Cape Coral Parkway one. But they're both awful. Are they? Yeah. Cape Coral Parkway one is north or south? Which one's the-- It's more north. More north? No, no, more south, sorry. OK. More south. And that takes you right to 75? Comes all the way in? Yeah.
I've only been there a few times to Cape Coral. It's nice. We like it. We're boaters, so-- Yeah, you get-- We enjoy the access to Sanibel and Capitiba. We can get up to Boca Grande pretty easily too. Oh, that's beautiful up there. Yeah. You fish too. Yes.
Nice. And you have almost your life. Have you always been in the fishing yet? Yeah. What do you like to catch? We like to do offshore. Oh, yeah. So our kids are too loud so all the fish can hear them if we're too in shore. So when they're 600 feet under 300 feet? Yeah, we're good. But we like to do like grouper, snapper, and-- Really? So you guys got to get out of ways. You got to go. We got out there about 40 miles between 20 and 40. Really? So it's fun though. Our kids enjoy it. We enjoy it. Kids are a pleasure. But now we're kind of outgrowing our boat. Yeah, well, I guess. Yeah, you got-- I told my husband, I'm like, now you have a good reason. They get a bigger boat.
My parents used to-- when I was growing up, also boated. My father was a big fish and fissure and didn't do a lot of fishing and boating. When we lived up north, we lived in Philly, but we kept the boat in Maryland. And my youngest sister was never old enough. So what they did, instead of bringing her, they just named the boat Audrey. It's her name. So we always had her with us in a way. But she wasn't really there. Like you're here. Yeah. She was always at Grandma's house. That's sweet.
And then always when we came here, the reason why he moved here was in the 70s was he wanted to fish. He loved fishing. And especially then, fishing was just unbelievable. Oh, I bet. I had-- I wish I would have appreciated all the grouper we had at the time, because we had it like people eat macaroni and cheese with a grouper. All the time. The freezer was always full of fresh. Or fridge was always full of-- That's nice. Yeah, it was one of my favorites. I love fish. So if you ever have a freezer problem or you need an overflow of fish, I'll take it off your hand and trade for some haircuts or something.
Yeah. That's good.
And how's it been when you've been fishing lately? Has the fishing been good when you go out to find good spots? Yeah, we have some good spots.
It's been a little bit since we've been on the boat, though. So I feel like that's one of my husband's grievances right now.
You know what kind of stuff? You can't go too far out right now, right? Now we're kind of it's too late. Yeah. We're going to have a little bit of a sabbatical. But it's been nice. I mean, even when just being out on the boat, even when you don't catch fish, it's just nice to be out on the boat. Oh, yeah. On a nice day. Yeah. What size is the boat?
It's about 28, center console. 28? Yeah. OK. How many motors? Just one. Oh, really? Yeah, we need two. You see these boats, those guys that got lost out there with that big boat. You think about a boat like that. It's probably the most high tech boat ever. Yeah. $40 million boat. Yeah. That whole thing is just kind of a weird-- Mysteries. Yeah. Wow. Strange. Yeah. Sad. Very sad. Yeah.
But to think that-- because my dad used to go out the same way, too, with one motor, you go 40 miles off. You don't see anything out there. No. It's kind of like eerie, too. Yeah. You're out there and you're like, can't see shore. Nothing. No service. And-- Oh, right. That's right. There's nothing., you look at the depth finder and you're like, oh, we're deep. And-- Yeah. And you're just floating away in this little--, the weather can change so quickly. Yeah. And you've got to outrun the storm, right? Yeah. And you've got to go around it or whatever. That's why we need two motors. Yeah. At least. Yeah, that's daring. I mean, that used to be the thing all the time.
But now these crazy boats that have four, five, six motors on the back. It's crazy. It's like a million dollars for a little fishing boat. That's just a toy. Yeah.
We don't have one of those boats. Yeah, right. You see them right in the eye.
Our boat's been a good faithful. We've only had the tow shame, I think, twice. Oh, yeah. How far out were you when that happened? Once it was pretty far out. And then, yeah, that was pretty long, miserable boat ride back. And then once was like-- On the VHF radios, how do you get help? We have a-- Satellite? Yeah. Oh, the satellite. OK. I forget what it's called.
But yeah, my husband calls it a shame.
Don't let anybody see us getting towed.
Yeah. Well, hey, that's better than-- yeah, not being towed. But what is it? What is the seat? So it does it? Yeah. Where you pay like $500 a minute.
But yeah, it's fun. Does the boat stay in the water? Yeah. Oh, great. We're on a canal. Oh, great. So you're just nice. Yeah. It's really nice. Take it right in. And now you have a crew to help clean it with your kids. You'll have five. Yeah, our 10-year-old's really into fishing. Oh, he loves it too? Yeah. He's a good helper. Nice. That's for sure. He grows up a true--
True Floridian. Yeah. Yep. And my kids as well.
It's kind of skipped the fishing generation because I didn't follow my-- my father used to take me fishing all the time, but I didn't like it. I love to eat it. But Saturday mornings, he'd be like, we're going to go on the boat tomorrow. And of course, we'd go out Friday night in high school. And then he was like, now you said you're going. You're not-- You're not sleeping anymore? Yep. Yep. 6 AM, 5. 30. Get on the boat. I need you to chum. And then we'd be throwing up over the side chumming for him because we did something stupid the night before.
But we're in the best place for that.
So how old were you when you moved to Southwest Florida? Because that's when everything kind of happened, right? Yeah. Your story started pretty much from where you were at that. I was about six.
Yeah, so it was pretty little.
And that was right after-- not long after it happened with your dad. I know you're open about that, right? How you got to where you are today. People talk about having these paths that--
Sometimes people live in the victimhood of it, but you turned it into something that has been such a blessing for so many people. Your story, I think, is really special, how that happened for you. You wouldn't mind sharing about where it all began. So it's really-- the submission's really near to me because firsthand I got to see the power of community.
My parents really struggled.
Life was hard. They were doing the best that they could. And my dad had an injury at work. He was a plumber.
And he got prescribed opiates.
And that was supposed to be like a temporary relief for so many families.
But that turned into an addiction, which led to my dad losing his job. And when he couldn't find another job, he started drinking.
And when opiates and drinking wasn't enough, that turned into cocaine. And it turned into my dad coming home really just drunk under the influence and really angry. And I was just six years old. And I remember just vividly my dad fighting with my mom in the kitchen to the point where he got a shotgun out. And I cornered her. And my two little brothers, I remember tucking them behind the couch. And I didn't know any better. I grabbed a baseball bat. And I was fearful for my mom's life and put myself in between my mom and my dad and just begged him to stop.
And it was in that moment, his eyes just filled up with tears. And he left. I don't know where he went that night. But my mom knew the situation was no longer safe.
And she needed to leave. But what is a single mom with three young children supposed to do?
She didn't have people to call. But she had made a connection with a local church. And she reached out to them.
And they showed up. They welcomed us into their home. They cared for us. They provided us that safety net.
They helped my mom relocate down to Southwest Florida to live with my grandmother. Oh, you had families here. OK. And so-- That's her mom? Yep, that was her mom. And so we were able to come down and live with my grandmother. And they started just visiting my dad and trying to support him. He ended up going to jail for his addiction.
He stayed back there in the Orlando area. Yeah. And you were down here. Yeah. And you would go visit. What was that like for you as a six-year-old with your parents separated like that? I love my dad. I have more great memories with my dad and hard ones.
He was adventurous. He wrestled alligators. We would just-- I mean, tons of adventures. He was an outdoorsman, lots of fun.
But when he struggled with drugs, it just changed who he was. Of course, yeah. My sober dad was an amazing dad. My dad under influence was a dad I just didn't recognize. So it was always a little scary, like, which dad are you going to get?
To his-- just love for his kids, he really tried.
But it just got to the point where he did-- he stole opiates from a neighbor, got arrested, ended up in prison.
And grateful my mom would still continue to take us to go see him. Yeah. And we were able to still have that relationship with him. And that local church who came alongside and supported us started visiting him at jail and started just building a relationship with him too. And one of the things I just love is they saw potential in him. They saw the good in him. They saw three little kids that needed a dad.
And they didn't give up on him when it would have been really easy to just write him off. Sure.
And because of that, he ended up getting out of prison. He came down to Southwest Florida. And the church that we were connected to helped him get into a halfway house, helped him find work because he had a criminal record. So it was really hard for him to find a job.
And he needed that job to stay sober. We needed that job as a family to just help us heal and move forward.
But he got a job. And my parents ended up getting remarrying. And our family came back together, which I know is very rare. Yeah. But I just think it shows the power of community.
People believing in people, even in their darkest moments. Yeah. And knowing the importance of families and being able to keep families together when possible.
And the importance of work. And I know for my dad, that job gave dignity.
It really helped us move forward. Helped him provide.
And I remember just seeing all of this at a really young age. Yeah. Had a really traumatic moment, but didn't define my whole life. Yeah. Because the community stepped in.
Where we could have kept going down a really hard path if it wasn't for the community stepping in. Yeah. What do you think it was in your dad that shifted? Because so many don't turn that around. So many addicts, it ends bad. Yeah.
Two things. I mean, one, he came to know the Lord. And I think that was a big transformational change in his life. Yeah. The higher power that he is. Yeah. And he loved his family. He always loved us kids and loved my mom.
He had his demons with those addictions.
But I think that relationship with the Lord and his love for his family really helped him overcome those things.
But I know it was hard. I know it was a struggle.
But you need that support.
And he also had a great support system. And I think that also makes a big difference when you have people who believe in you and want what's best for you and are there to help you even on the hard days. What were your memories as a young child of these outside people helping your family? What was that like? So Noreen and Kenny Smith is a family that welcomed us into their home. And I remember it being so calm and peaceful in their home.
And I remember that very vividly and something that I wanted. The calm and the peace. Just the calm and the peace. No fighting, family dinners.
It was just peaceful.
And my parents, it wasn't peaceful.
My mom was doing the best that she could. My dad was too. But we just didn't have a lot of consistency.
And things just kind of got--
Were spiraling as things were developing. I remember being in their home and it was just peaceful and calm. And I got to see two loving parents and family dinners. And I remember-- I mean, I was little. And I remember thinking, I was like, I want this.
And that made an impact on me at such a young age.
And they're still a part of our lives. They are. Yeah. What are their names again? Noreen and Kenny Smith. Noreen and Kenny Smith. Wow. So they've been a part of every milestone in my life, marriage. And my dad, when he passed away, they were there for us during those moments. But just have really become an extended part of our family. Yeah. And they didn't have to be. They opened up their home and invited Messi.
Messi into their home. But they did it with just-- it was such a loving, kind, just generous hearts. Why do you think they do that?
Because they're just saints.
But that's what I've learned too, and kind of the feel behind Better Together. There's so many helpers in the community. There's so many people like Noreen and Kenny
That have incredibly good hearts that want to help.
But oftentimes, we don't know who to help or how to help. Very much so, right. People want to, but how and what. Yeah. And then those situations too, it can be messy. And so I like to think of Better Together as almost like the Uber of doing good. You have helpers in the community, and then we connect them to those that need support. But then our team helps the families, helps the volunteers, and kind of bridges that gap and helps navigate the messiness and the uncertainty of the situations.
And so it's-- I'm always amazed. There's so many just amazing people out in the community that want to help, and they do these just incredible things.
And I'm not surprised because I got to see that. Yeah, firsthand. Yeah.
And it's easy to read all the headlines and see all the terrible things going on in the news.
But just incredibly blessed to see every day the headlines of families stepping up to help other families. Yeah. Which is just such a beautiful thing, and what makes, I think, community so special. Yeah. That's the whole point of this podcast, literally, is to put a light on those good things. Because what gets the most traction is the stuff that's a catastrophe, the drama and the negative in the world, and these turnarounds, and these people who are doing good. You've turned it into your life mission
To create this incredible organization, which
Has grown so much. But on top of that, you're doing it with your own tribe. Yes. And another one on the way. For anybody who can't see or is listening, how far along are you? I am 34 weeks. 34 weeks. So March, what does it do? March 5. March 5, right around the corner. Right around the corner.
She's already got four. This is five. So you got that tribe, and then you have this whole other community of--
I would imagine is a large portion of volunteers on top of that, because that's what everybody is for the majority, right? So we're volunteer-driven. Everything we do is really through the power of community and volunteers. We have volunteer families. They're vetted. They're background-checked. They're not paid. So foster care, you get families that go through licensing. They're paid. Our volunteers-- What is the difference? So what does foster care mean, actually? Yeah. So I actually started my career in foster care. Wanted to help children and families, and went into that industry.
And I was a case manager. You just had a call in to do that, so you went to school for that. I just wanted to help kids and families. And I think that was a part of my upbringing. Just had a heart for children and families and helping.
But just realized that government was really good at tearing these families apart, but really struggled to put them back together.
And I remember even having this crystallizing moment of realizing how close my family was. If it wasn't for the community stepping in, how very easily we would have gone into foster care. And I couldn't even imagine being separated from my little brothers. And I had kids on my caseload that were separated from their siblings removed for situations related to neglect, not sexual abuse or physical abuse, neglect.
Situations where their parents loved them, but they were struggling with poverty. They were struggling with a community. They didn't have that support.
I remember I had these two five-year-olds on my caseload, and they had been in over 20 different foster families. How old? Five years old. And they had been in 20 places, 20 families. Yes. And they were twins. They were separated.
They had been physically abused in foster care, sexually abused in foster care. The trauma that these little boys endured in the system, which is heartbreaking. And that's trauma they're going to carry with them their whole lives. Sure. And so that was really the start of, there's got to be a better way. There's got to be a better way to get upstream and help families.
Without-- because foster care meaning that's government intervention and foster meaning that there's families that are paid to take children? How does that work? Yeah. So foster parents, they get licensed, and then they're paid a stipend to take children who--
Like the state will deem them the parents unfit. So they'll put them into the foster care system. So DCF, right? They come in and say, you can't be with them. Do an investigation for suspected abuse. They go out. And if there's enough evidence, they'll remove those kids. But oftentimes, they'll go out and they'll do these investigations. And until a child's been abused or neglected, they really can't intervene.
So you get a lot of families that are on the verge of potentially losing their children. They're in crisis. And that's where we step in. So instead of them closing their case and hoping and praying nothing happens to these kids, they can introduce the parents to us. And we're voluntary. So the parents, there's no--
It's not like you have to use them or you're going to lose your children. It's, hey, you're going through a really difficult time. It looks like you need some support. Here's a really great group that can help support you and keep your family together.
And so we step in those situations and start working with the families to avoid any other calls to the state.
So foster care is-- one, it's a government-run organization that has terrible outcomes for kids and families. Government-running anything is scary. Yeah. And it's reactive. It can't do something until the child's actually been abused or neglected. So it's not proactive. It's reactive.
And then it costs taxpayers a lot of money. It's about $45,000 per child per year.
Wow. That's what that is. Yeah. Most kids are in foster care for an average of two or three years.
So it's a significant burden on the state. But also-- It's not even real effective on top of all that money. Yeah. Wow. And so ours is proactive. It's voluntary. It's proactive. It's getting to families first before the abuse occurs, before the state needs to get involved. OK.
And so our volunteers, they're not paid.
They do this out of the goodness of their hearts. They welcome these children into their home.
They often do have needs. And so then they're supported by the community. So my husband and I, we've had about 25 kids in our home over the last 10 years. 25. And they've all been just a blessing.
But I'll give an example of the last two kids we took in our home. They didn't have a lot.
Mom was in a shelter. And she was working really hard to find a job and do a lot of different things. And us being able to care for the kids kept her kids safe and gave her the time to really do all these different things that she needed to do to put the precious pieces of her life back together.
But we had-- And she knew her kids were in good hands and that she wasn't going to have to fight the state to get them back. Yep. And it was co-- It's like a co-parenting relationship., we were getting to know mom. Mom was getting to know us. We're sending pictures of the kids. She's getting to see the kids.
Or just kind of like an extended family to her. Just like if we had a medical emergency, my husband and I, or some sort of emergency, we have aunts and uncles and cousins and family that we could call. So many families don't have anybody that they can call. Yeah. Yeah. And so our volunteers become almost like an extended family, a safe, extended family that can support them. Yeah. But then we had people dropping us off, diapers, wipes
Clothing.
And that's the beauty is maybe you can't take a child into your home, but you can donate some wipes or clothing or shoes. And then everything's going back to the parents.
And these kids are getting all their needs provided for. Other ways people can contribute.
If they aren't able to take a child, they can do that. Because not everybody can take a child into your home. And sometimes we have volunteers that can take kids in during different seasons of their lives and they may break.
But I think it's beautiful that everybody can contribute and support. So maybe they can't take kids into their home, but they can drop off a pack and play, or they can help provide tutoring, or they can mentor a parent and help support them, or they can help with transportation.
And just going back to the idea that the community is full of helpers. Everybody has different gifts and talents and treasures.
And then how can we utilize those for the betterment of the community and helping keep families strong? I have a question, though. So you've already got-- there have been 25 kids that you've opened your doors for. So you've got your own-- how do you schedule that? Does it happen? You just go, honey, somebody's at the door. Can you help me unpack this child in my car? How does that work? How do you do that? Yeah. So when we started, we didn't have a lot of volunteers. I would meet a lot of these moms in parking lots. They were homeless. And I would start creating a bond with them. And sometimes I would just take the kids home. And it really was like that.
Sometimes I'd call my husband and say, hey, I need help carrying a few things in from my car. And yeah, they're kids.
And he's a trooper. That groceries. Yeah. Yeah. He's a two-year-old. I have a six-year-old.
But he was such a trooper. And I mean, honestly, people ask me, they're like, how do you do all this?
And my first response is always, I'm married well.
I have a great husband who's been so supportive of this dream, but also wants to give back and support. So it was never like, oh, this isn't big inconvenience. It's always like, hey, we have this opportunity to help these kids together.
So I remember our first kid. I was actually about seven-- no, about eight months pregnant. And we brought in our first kid.
And we weren't even parents yet. We didn't know what we were doing.
But I remember bouncing on a little--
This is 11 years ago then. Yeah.
I was bouncing on a little ball with compression socks with Brett.
And it didn't make any sense.
And that's most of the time. It's your inconvenience, your inconveniencing yourself. But it's incredibly rewarding. We were able to love on this sweet little boy, Brett. He was just about to turn one. Oh my gosh. We were able to build this relationship with his mom and support her and her greatest time and needs. She was referred by the Department of Children and Families when we met her. She had a black eye.
She was leaving an abusive relationship. And she just needed support. And so we got to be her support. And now, 11 years later, she's still a part of our life. And we still have a relationship with her. And we've been able to see Travis.
Now they're married. And they're healthy. And Travis is sober. And we've got to see healing and health in their relationship. Oh, wow. Beautiful. So it's beautiful. And our volunteers, they're just incredible. To open up your home, to be inconvenienced, to care for these children, and to love on their parents.
They're really some of the most inspiring, incredible people that you'll ever meet.
And then those that continue to support them, it takes a village. And that support is so meaningful.
It's even your children, though, too, because they're just as involved, aren't they? Yes.
Tell me the dinosaur story about your son, because that had me in tears. Your son's just as involved. And what a sweetheart. One of the reasons we do this is we get to teach our children empathy, compassion, and love for others. And I think of this story. We took these two little kids in the middle of the night. Mom and dad had stole food. They had no other priors. They've never done that before.
And the sheriff's department said, they saw the good in these parents. They saw that they didn't have this pattern, this history. So they called better together. And we ended up taking these two kids in. Right from the sheriff's department, called you directly? OK, wow.
So we took these two little kids in. And my son was really into dinosaurs. He still is and doesn't share with his sisters at all.
They want to play with the dinosaurs. I get it. And they woke up that morning. And I told them, hey, we have some little friends in the living room that are going to stay with us for a little bit. And he went up to the little boy with his favorite dinosaur. And he gave him his dinosaur. And he's like, you're safe here.
And watching my little boy give up his greatest belonging
And tell this other-- just comfort this other child.
And just be so selfless and loving. Just my mama heart exploded. And that's a big part of why we do this, is to be able to serve as a family, teach our children empathy and compassion.
And in that situation, they were able to make bail. We were able to bring the kids back to them, fill up their pantry, get them some good resources.
And that's all they needed. They made a desperate decision. That was not a good decision. But that bad decision didn't ruin their whole lives.
Where if it wasn't for better together stepping in, they would have lost their children to foster care. And then who knows if they would have gotten their kids back.
And so just if you look at the child's perspective, they got to experience playing with a dinosaur and loving kindness. They got to be back with their family. They didn't experience the trauma of being separated from each other, moved into a government, run foster care, and then not being able to be returned to their parents. Yeah. And you have such a relationship, even with the Sheriff's Department, that they would think of you in a moment like that, rather than DCF right away. Yes.
And that's been something we've been really proud of, is we used to get a lot of our referrals from the department. We still do.
But now we get a lot of referrals from law enforcement, first responders, hospitals, schools.
And so being able to just get more upstream and connect with families before it even gets to the point that state has to get involved. Yeah. How wonderful is that? And just finding that-- I mean, there's such a community need for it, rather than having government, because government is not the answer ever. No.
Government's got a big job to do.
And the vision really behind Better Together has been, how can we put them out of business as much as possible?
Yeah, I like that. The less kids that are in foster care, the better that they can do to help these kids survive it. To help these kids and families have better outcomes. But when the system is so overwhelmed, and it's so reactive, kids don't get the best outcomes. Families don't reunify and end up back together. And so that's our goal, is to really disrupt that system by keeping kids out of it as much as possible.
And then our communities are better because of it, because families are really the building blocks of our communities. And if we can keep them together, keep them strong.
And then economically, too.
We can save the state funding.
They can take those dollars and put them to other needs that the community has. Sure. Oh, yeah. Yeah, better. Make it more efficient. You guys do this better. And it's not their wheelhouse anyway. So I love that.
Michael is who referred her. Is that right, Michael? DeLuca, right? How do, Michael? So Michael is wonderful. He's on our Southwest Florida community board. And has been just a big supporter of our work over the years.
And I'm just incredibly grateful. When I think of just how far we've come and what we've been able to accomplish, it's because of people like Michael and others in the community who have just this belief in our mission, who have been just great advocates for everything that we do.
And we're just very blessed. I mean, we always need more people a part of our mission. But as an organization, we've just been blessed with incredible people who've been a part of our story so far. Well, the way he spoke about you and the organization, he was just so definitive in who you are as somebody who makes such a huge difference with what you do. And when I heard him talk about it, just how you are a shining light, a beacon for many people, he was very resolute in that we had to talk to you because of who you are in the world, because in the difference that you're making.
He really believes in the mission of the organization, is such a believer and supporter of everything that's done there. And a big part of--
He had me really curious about what it is that you do, and the more that I find out, I see, especially because you're now running an organization-- you weren't trained to fundraise and to be a leader of a not-for-profit, but your heart has called you to this--
Calling this need. And you're making it all work in such a beautiful way.
I always admire that because it's not like you have unlimited funds. You've got to deal with funding. You've got to deal with state-- anything to deal with any state agency is a nightmare. I mean, just think of driver's licenses alone, but everything else involved with that, to be able to have the patience to do that, and to grow it the way you have. Because you've been at this for a while now. Yeah, so we just celebrated our 10 years. And when we started-- Congratulations. It was just an idea and a handful of people who believed in the mission, the vision. And it's been incredible to reflect back and see. We've helped just shy of 100,000 people.
What started here in Naples, Florida has now grown to being statewide across the entire state. We've seen a significant reduction in the need of foster care in Collier County and now statewide.
So it's working.
And it's really becoming a model that other states and localities are really looking at as an example and a solution for something that before was just a big, messy, $45 billion failed government program that people didn't have a lot of solutions for. So it's been incredibly rewarding to see.
Now people are thinking, oh, there might be another way. Look at this model. Look what it's doing in Florida. Look at what the local church is doing, employers, volunteers.
We're really getting to see many people when we started.
I mean, I always laughed in meetings when I said, oh, it's going to find volunteers that care for kids. They're like, we can't even find foster parents.
When we were talking about the idea, I just had a lot of people who just couldn't believe that this would really happen. And so it's been incredible to see what many thought was impossible come to light and the impact that it's been able to have. And we're just getting started. We just had an incredible 10 years, but really excited about the next 10 years and what it's going to look like for our community, for our state and other states. Correct me if I'm wrong.
Governor DeSantis has put you into a role or you nominated for something with the state? Yeah, so I have the opportunity to serve on the Faith and Community Council for the Governor's Office. And it's been just an incredible blessing.
The governor and the first lady have just been a huge support of the work that we've been doing here. And it's been grateful to have their support and then incredible honor to be appointed to this council and be able to serve the community and the state in this way.
And so one of the things that we do on the council is just how can we get the community and the faith community especially more involved in a lot of the issues that our state is facing and how can we bring more awareness, involvement and solutions and really act as a bridge also for the faith community.
Where can the government help support the community? Where are the areas where government should get out of the way and allow the community to step into different issues? And so that's a big thing that I've had the opportunity to be a part of that it's just been a blessing to serve. I think there's a lot of just endless opportunities and then great to have a governor who really wants to look outside the box and see how
Knowing the purpose of government but also seeing the incredible value that the community can bring. I love that there's that recognition directly from the governor that this is a community need that the community can help and not, or just the government gonna throw more money at it to make it better. And he sees that maybe there's a way for us to get out of the way or be involved in a way that's not, I mean, I look at some of these other states that look at Minnesota, right? I couldn't even go there with Minnesota. Like the amount of money they throw away for supposedly kids programs that there's no childcare center. That's a government agency running that.
But here where we're saying, well, let's allocate those funds somewhere else and let's let the community, an organization like this, do a better job, more efficiently, well run and have a much better outcome than this piecemeal government entity.
Florida really leads the way.
I mean, we've been blessed with great leadership. I mean, the House and the Senate, the governor's office who really do
They see the role of government but also looking to the community for solutions.
And we've just been incredibly blessed to have a lot of support bipartisan over the years
Of just seeing the value of bottom up solutions instead of top down. Yeah, yeah. And even the state, we don't have a contract with the state. We have a partnership with them. They don't have to send us referrals for families, but because they have access and they see the value that we can bring, it's incredible for them to be able to make those introductions and then get out.
They can go focus on other families, but to be able to make those introductions and then trust that we're gonna be able to go support those families in a way that they would never be able to do, I think just speaks very highly of just a really healthy public private partnership that we've been able to build with the state and how great it is that the state has really embraced that. Yeah, well, we're blessed to have that in our backyard. And yeah, that's really, I love that. But there's other, I saw a woman on a podcast from Jacksonville who is, is there other chapters or how is it fragmented in the state?
Yeah, so we, when we're looking at the state of Florida, we were looking at population, we're looking at the amount of kids in foster care and we broke down the state into just eight different regions. And so we have a executive director in each of those regions. We have a community board in that region. And then we have our corporate team that helps with marketing, back-end development
And really supports those boots on the ground.
And so Michael's on our Southwest Florida community board and then Vanessa Estrada is our Southwest Florida executive director.
She's a native of Collier County and just has this incredible heart for children and families.
And I'd say one thing we're really blessed with is we have some of the most incredible people on our team
That this is more than a job, it's a calling, it's a passion. Yeah. And so we're about, I guess just shy of 100 people on our team now. For this area or for the-- Just for the whole organization. Oh, for the, okay, for those state, I gotcha, okay. Because then you have volunteers beyond that too. Yes, so then we have hundreds of volunteers and then we have a whole jobs program.
Most of our families that ended up in crisis about to lose their kids, most of the, it was about 76% of the root cause was financial. So to get even more upstream, we partner with local churches to start a jobs ministry
Because we think churches are actually a really great place that someone can find a job. And so most churches have a handout ministry, which is great, they're paying some bills, they're helping meet some of the physical needs of families, but less than 2% of American churches have a jobs ministry. So we're trying to flip that. Where more churches have a jobs ministry and we equip them to host job fairs that really focus on the person and the potential of that person and employers that will hire on the spot, volunteers that will give coaching, support, hospitality, community.
And so that program is actually in 24 different states and we partner with churches from all across the country.
And so it's amazing just to see these church communities step in and help their community find work. That's a key component of what you do, right? Because you're not just handing out funds, you're actually teaching them how to fish so that they are giving them what they need in a way so that they can take care of themselves. Yeah, we just think work is such a really key piece. I mean, I even think about my-- For their own dignity. I mean, I even think of my dad, if he didn't lose his job
I think things wouldn't have spiraled as quickly. That was, losing his job, things spiraled really bad to a really bad place really quick.
And then how important it was for him to find a job and what that did for him, what it did for our families. And so work is a really big thing we focus on as an organization is how do we help them find a job, create vision of what their career path could be like.
And then the other thing we do really well is community. Taking isolated family is helping them find work and then helping them find that village, that community to keep their family strong.
So how, how can we help? Yeah, well, we're volunteer driven, professionally supported, so it takes a community. So if someone's listening to this and anything I'm saying is like tugging on their heart or they're resonating, I would encourage them to get involved. Maybe you can't welcome a child into your home, but you could be a job coach at a job fair, you could drop off diapers.
We're privately funded, so we depend on the community to help support us.
So everybody has gifts and talents and treasures.
And so that's what we need is we need the community to use the gifts that God has given them and to be able to contribute to help support families that are going through a hard place.
Is there something specific on the website like a wish list or a needs list or? Yeah, so if you go on our website, it's www.bettertogetherus.org. You'll see-- BetterTogetherUS.org. Okay, we'll put that up there too, good. There's a lot of volunteer opportunities, there's Amazon Wish List, there's ways to donate your time or even in-kind donations.
And there really is, I mean, there's a place for everyone and we would be incredibly honored to have people a part of our story and what we're doing. Where did this main part of your funds come from? Is there a big event you do every year? How do you keep all this going?
So we are supported by individuals, corporations, foundations.
We do a big gala every year here in Naples. We actually have one coming up February 27th, actually a week before my due date. Wow, wow.
But we're really excited. We have just incredible people who continue to come out and support us. And if you're hearing this and you'd like to support us, like the gala really is a great way to get involved.
Our galas are unique.
I think we do a really good job sharing the mission, but also creating a space where people can have a lot of fun.
So we're really looking forward to that and would love for more people to be involved. Is there gonna be a silent auction or an auction? Yeah, so we're gonna do a Fund the Need and then we have raffles and then we have a silent auction and then we have some live auctions. Okay, I'm just thinking of ways that we can give you a lot of good services, a gift card package or a pamper package. Oh, that would be amazing.
Any way we can support, I'd like to be able to do that for that. And also I'm thinking, I don't know if this would work, I'm just kind of brainstorming, but we're always available for a family, children, or whoever, if they need to just have a little makeover to feel good about themselves. They're looking for a job and they wanna just boost their self-confidence and making us available to your organization in any way like that, if you have a family or a children or anyone that we can, on us, of course, as a gift to just give them a transformation, give them a new look to help them feel better about themselves when they... I love that.
It's amazing what just having a great haircut or having that confidence when you're going into a job interview
Or even we have so many parents that are working so hard, they're doing all of these things and the last thing that they're thinking about is themselves or...
Yeah, right. Just the idea of that. Yeah, no, really, we're gonna set that up so that you have a contact here always that they're taking care of and whoever, whenever, however you need, we have a team of over 60 and we love nothing more to be able to give back this incredible community and it would be our gift and always, like we're here for you and what you're up to with your family of people because I know you got a big family.
So February, what is the date of your event? February 27th. February 27th, where's that? It's gonna be at the Ritz Tiburon. Okay.
So we'll have information about that. That'll be right before the babies. Yep. Okay, good.
What, where did you go to school?
I went to high school down in Port Charlotte High and then I went to college at Liberty University. Liberty, right? Yeah. Yeah, okay, I saw that. My father's in heaven now, but when he was alive, my children, he wanted to go to that school. He loved that school. Yeah. He knew a lot about it. He didn't think about any other, he said college is a waste, college would be, but if they're gonna go to any school, that was the school he just believed in there. That, the values of that school, he thought were just special. It was a great school. Yeah. Really, Jerry Falwell did an incredible job. Very fortunate, I was there. My freshman year, he was still alive and was present.
So I feel like that was an incredible gift to be able to be there while he was still alive and
But great school, great community.
But, what's funny is I left Florida, Virginia, the school attracted me, but also the mountains.
But after living in Virginia, they had mild winters. I was really missing Florida. Yeah. We're very blessed to live in such a great state. Aren't we? Don't we live in just the whole state? It's just, we're just so blessed. I mean, this is the best place. It's hard to go on vacation from here. Yeah, it's just such a great state and such great community. Yeah. I'm always just amazed by just how just beautiful our community really is. Like our community really cares. Yeah. And that's so unique.
And I don't think that's something you see all over the country, but as we've grown and expanded in Florida, it's just been really neat to see how powerful the community is and how much the community cares. Yeah, the hearts of the people here, just tremendous. It's amazing people. Yeah, and that makes it all the more better. Including you. Thank you so much for having me and just everything that you guys are doing to support us and support families in the community. Whatever we can do. I'm incredibly grateful. You're spearheading. We could just get behind you and just cheer you on and help in whatever way we can.
We wanna be able to keep this going because I love so much of what it's about, but the fact that it's helping reduce government in a way or get government out of the way, especially with a child that's just so impressionable. You could have such an impact on them as you do
When they're a year old and you're still in their life. You become an aunt or a second mom, or you've got 25 of those out there of your own, but then the thousands of others that you continue to impact and touching a child at that early, just the same way you were touched. Yeah, and that's, we always remind our volunteers, it's like you don't know. Sometimes we get to see the results. We get to see these families stay together. We get to see kids not go into foster care. We get to see families find work, but there's oftentimes things that we don't get to see.
And so sometimes we don't get to see the impact of what that peaceful, calm home did for that child and that family. Yeah.
And being able, I saw Noreen and Kenny not that long ago, and I had the opportunity to tell them, and I told them, I was like, "I remember how peaceful your home was. I remember how kind you were. I remember how sweet you were to each other."
And they're like, "We had no idea
That was the impact it had on you." Yeah. And so sometimes you just don't even know the impact you're having on these children and these families.
But I just believe that when God calls you, He equips you, and the goodness and the kindness and the serving is always the right thing and always is going to have an impact in small ways, big ways, seen ways, unseen ways. Yeah.
And who knows, maybe there's a child that we've been able to impact that is going to start their own nonprofit or do some incredible things one day because of the love and care that they got within their little.
That model of love you saw and still lives with you and your home, when you were there, yeah. That's so beautiful. Incredibly grateful. There's some special people.
A lot of special people, I mean
People willing to just raise their hand and say, "Yeah, we'll take them here, come on in.", like the way you do with a four-year-old already. It's pretty amazing. We are telling you, we get to meet some of the most incredible people, our host families, they are just heroes. What they do for these children and families, it's just incredible.
Who had the biggest impact on you growing up? What led you to, I know it was the family and what happened there, but in your life, it has been a real inspiration to you along the way that's had a lasting impact that led you here.
My mom, she is just one of the most selfless, loving, strong, positive, even in that situation, just her love for her kids, her strength, even her loving, like just her empathy for my father and her forgiveness and grace that she showed him. And she was a single mom, she started her own business, she provided for us. The fact that she still wanted us to see my dad and have a relationship with him.
And she started a single mom's ministry.
So I got to watch her, as she was a single mom, finding ways to help support other single moms.
And just such an incredible work ethic and just an incredible heart, like just always helping others and just has been such an inspiration to me and believe in my dreams and, encouraging me on the days I felt like I just wanted to give up or felt defeated or
You know, she was just always my rock and just reminding me, hey, there's families that need you, that need this.
And so she's just always been such a huge support to me, a cheerleader for me and just an inspiration. Yeah, she's got something special in her because it's tough too.
What she did to create that boundary when she said, oh, we have to get out of here, we have to move or we have to separate ourselves from the dysfunction right now until he's well. And that's a hard thing for somebody to do and for her to be able to do that, without a safety net. Yeah, it takes strength and courage. And, that's what I think of a lot of our families is, it takes strength and courage and, they're motivated by love for their children.
And sometimes that means like you're not in a place you can care for your children and you do need help. And that's a very humbling place to be as a parent.
And to be able to receive help is a strength. Yeah, right. And so,. Right, to receive it. That's a good point. Yeah, that's so true. A lot of parents where, they're, just reminding them like the fact that you were putting your child's needs before your own needs and you're doing this loving thing
To be able to put, those pieces of your life back together to be able to better yourself, better your situation. Like that is a loving, incredible gift that you're giving your child. Yeah. And it's sad because we have some families that, we know that they could, if they would receive the gift of help, we could do so much. But, it's heartbreaking when you see a family that, you could help, but they're just not willing to receive that help.
And sometimes they come around and eventually will. Yeah. But those are some of the hardest things
Especially when I started was meeting these parents and you're just like, I know, like I see the potential in you, I know we can help you. Yeah.
But I also understand, the fear and concern but that's also part of the reason we're privately funded and volunteer driven is we want parents to trust us. Yeah, there's no financial incentive. Yeah, we want them to know like, we really do want to keep your family together. Yeah, it's the point, that's the whole point of it. There's no secret agenda. Yeah. And so that really-- It's the name of it. I mean, it's really, it clicked for me after researching more, that's the whole, it's such a great name. Thank you. It really fits so well with what you're all about. And we're not tearing it apart. Families are better together. Yeah. And I think it's the same for our community.
Our community is better when we're all working together for the betterment of our families and our children and our community. Yeah.
Back to your mom, what's her name? Beth. Beth, she's alive, yes.
She live with, near? She lives out this far? She's down in, she's up in Port Charlotte. Okay, not far, not too far. How would she describe you?
I don't know.
Bossy, she always says bossy as a kid.
Where are you in the birth order? I was the oldest. Oh, okay, I left it. I lost my little brothers really well.
They were some of the best playmates.
And no, she probably
I mean, she's always tells me about how proud she is of my heart and just service and just pursuing what God's called me to do.
And she definitely doesn't shy away of just sharing
Just her love for me.
Again, like just even last night, I was talking to her about, we're emilates late and she always answers the phone and she's always that support person.
So it was an actual phone call. Yeah. It wasn't a text. Yeah, not a text. She'll always answer my call, it doesn't matter when.
But just that's, the beauty too, like how fortunate it is to have somebody that's gonna answer your call. And that's what I think the beauty of what we do is there's so many people who don't have anybody to call and then they connect with us and then they have not one or two, they have a lot of people that they can call.
And we all need somebody to call. Yeah, and even after, so some of these children's lives that you touch, you become a part of their
Part of them forever, I would think. You're in their life in some form. That's, I think the beauty is a lot of families, like I could never do that, it'd be too hard to, give up the kids. And the beauty of what we get to do is, like you get to be a part of their extended family, you get to build a relationship with them, you still get to have them a part of your lives. So some families we get to see more and the communications more and some, we don't get to see as often, but they'll still check in or, we'll get to see pictures of how the kids are doing, how the family is doing.
But it's beautiful to know that we got to pay, play a small piece in their story. Yeah.
And knowing that the kids are still with their families and the families are on a better path. How many kids right now today are with a family in this area, what'd you say? In this area, we probably have over a dozen kids being hosted across the state, maybe just shy of 100., it varies, the average day is about 41 days.
So sometimes it's really short, could be 24 hours. We've had some host families care for kids for up to an entire year. And so it's always amazing, whenever there's a need
We've never had to turn a family away. And I think that's just an incredible testament of the community, being able to find somebody who's willing to say yes.
Is it an open window when somebody takes somebody and like they don't know an endpoint or is it? We have a good idea. Yeah, we do. Yeah, so we normally have a good idea of what the situation is and how much time we're gonna need to help support the family. So if it's a situation of homelessness, it normally takes about 90 days for us to help them find a job, home, daycare, and put all those pieces together.
For a medical emergency, it might just be 24 hours, 48 hours, depending on the situation.
But we normally have a good idea of how long. So our volunteers get to know like, okay, this is like a two week hosting, 48 hours.
For this situation that was a year, we had a family going into St. Matthew's house, Justin and Jill's place, and it's a year long program. But they were struggling with substance abuse and they didn't need a Band-Aid detox. They needed an extensive program, but they had nobody to care for their daughter. So we had a volunteer that was willing to care and we weren't sure, we're like, are we gonna be able to find a volunteer willing to care for the six year old for a whole year? And we had more than one family say yes, we're willing to do that.
And the Shanleys took in Jade and Brandi and Kenny got clean and got community and St. Matthew's does a really great job. They have something special, yeah. And so to collaborate with them and help keep that family together. And they're doing, they're together today, they're doing incredibly well. Brandi and Kenny are married, they bought a home. Oh, awesome., they never thought they would ever buy a home. They never thought, they just didn't even imagine, this for their family. And how incredible to be able to help give vision and help create, be a support to them on this path to being able to change a generational cycle for their family. Yeah, in a big way. Yeah.
It's great to hear that you're working with St. Matthew's house and the agencies working together like that as well. Yeah, I'm incredibly grateful, especially here in Collier County, the collaboration amongst all the organizations, it's just so positive. And I really, we have our unique niche of what we do really well. And then we can lean into others that do their pieces really well. That's where we can really be powerful and then help the family in a more meaningful way. What is Youth Haven in the scheme of how all this all works? What does Youth Haven do? Do,?
Yeah, so Youth Haven will be more of a home for kids that are in the system, which is really good because they do a great job. But those are for kids that are already in the system. They're in foster. And then Youth Haven is a place for them to go. Internally, to go back to foster or just? There's shelters, so there's supposed to be a short term care for children that are in the system. But sometimes because of a lack of foster families, you might not, the kids will stay there longer. I see, okay. But they're a great shelter. I mean, especially when kids do have to go on the system, you wanna do everything in your power to help these kids survive the system.
And so having great places where there's stability and care
Because the last thing you want is a child bouncing around from one foster family to another foster family. So Youth Haven provides stability, especially if you have sibling groups or kids that are harder to place.
And so there really is a lot of great resources here in Collier County, which is really encouraging.
Cause that's not the case across the whole state. Right, right, yeah. We do have so much an abundance of resources here in Collier County, and that's an incredible blessing. Yeah, we've had Linda on from Youth Haven. And she's, she's-- She's great. Oh, she's, yeah, she's special. Her heart is fully into those kids, that's her baby and she just says, she says, "I have no children of my own, "but I have 70 really, or however many, "or in her family there." So I understand how that fits in, I see that. Yeah. Their place in the whole scheme of everything. The Golden Eagle, the Naples High grad, your husband. What's his name? Mason. Mason.
How would Mason describe you?
Strong willed.
Determined.
Big heart, and patient.
But we've really, I could go on about him, he's incredible. I really, people ask me all the time, how do you do this?
You know, and he's just been here every step of the way, and he really has believed in my dreams, and has just been such a support to the work we do. And we really are a team, we are able to really, raise our kids and be a team together, and he's just, he really is just an incredible, incredible husband, incredible human, with an incredible heart. How'd the poor Charlotte girl meet the Naples High guy? Through church. Oh, is that right, yeah.
Yeah, I went to Liberty, and, Jerry Falwell tells you're gonna marry somebody from Liberty, and I didn't find my Liberty husband, and I'm glad I didn't, because when I moved back to Florida, I met my husband at our church that we still go to today. McGregor? Yeah, McGregor.
Started off as friends and built a strong foundation, and we are gonna be 12 years this year. Congratulations, that's awesome. Yeah, but he's awesome. I'm very blessed.
Yeah. He's just a great dad, and not just to our kids, but every, a lot of the kids that we've had in our home, there's an absent dad, and he has just been like an additional dad to those kids. And he is hands-on, changing diapers, stuff, helping with, all the things. When I say really is the real deal, like he is, he does this fully 100% with me, and I really am just so grateful for that.
What else has had an influence on you? Is there any book that you've read that's had a big impact on you? I love books, I've read so many. I recently read a book, it's called Strengthening the Soul of Your Leadership
And I really enjoyed it was recommended.
Actually a good friend and supporter, John DeAngelis
And just, often it's just about the soul of your leadership.
Strengthening the soul of your leadership? Yeah, Strengthening the soul of your leadership. It's a great book, and I've just, it's a book that I've read multiple times. I've gone back to, but I think it helps just kind of anchor you. Like if your soul is in a good place, then you can serve out of a good place. Okay, yeah, I like that. I'll put that on my list. Zach, can you send that to me in symphony? That's our communication platform, but I wanna put that in my books on Audible that I don't read. Well, I read, but I mostly listen to books now, so that's me, yeah, yeah. I do a lot of listening too, but I always enjoy, like when I get my paper copy
Have the opportunity to do that. Oh yeah, there's nothing like that, feels good, yeah. You have a real book in your hand. I can't do kiddo. I gotta have, I like the hard book in my hand. Yeah, how about podcasts, any podcasts that you listen to that you're talking to me? Yeah, so I'm on the road a lot. I drive all over the state
And so I do get to listen to a lot of podcasts, but one of the podcasts I really enjoyed, especially early on, was called Masters of Scale
And I just enjoyed it. They had a lot of entrepreneurs on talking about their failures
And so being able to hear these big Silicon Valley, like PayPal, and these big organizations, and talking so vulnerably about how they failed, and what they learned, and I just thought it was so interesting, because as an entrepreneurial do-gooder, essentially, in trying to build this
Being able to hear and feel normalized, like, oh, I'm learning that lesson, that's hard
And being able to have that kind of mindset of fail fast, and lessons learned from others that have been in similar situations as they're growing an organization.
So really enjoyed that one, especially when I first started Better Together. Masters. Masters of Scale. Masters of Scale, another one for the symphony. Haven't heard that one, yeah. Always great to hear. It normalizes my own failures when I hear those things. Yeah, it really is encouraging. Yeah, yeah, it's okay to feel this, but especially when the buck stops with you, like there's nowhere else to go. You gotta have it all together, and you gotta keep it all together, and you gotta, just having that voice going, oh, okay.
They did that, and we're in that space, this space isn't so bad, or there's a way out. I have to fill my mind with optimism, positivity, things that are, because my mind normally wants to go to the other side, where the gloom and doom, and just have to keep my head clear of that. So podcasts are great for that. Yeah, have to do that. It's so great how there's so much really great content available, and it is really inspiring, and it's so great to be able to hear the positives, and it is, the world's just so negative at times, and it's easy to find out. We're just naturally drawn to the train wrecks, I know. Just, we can't help it's just where we go.
So thank you for what you do, shining a light on the good in the community, because we need more of that. Yeah, well here it's kinda easy, because there's so many good ones, and they just don't get enough of the accolades, or enough of the spotlight on what's really happening in this Pleasantville that we live in, because we really, there's nothing like where we live. Even our medians are perfect, or it's just a beautiful place. Every day we have sunshine. There's very few days where we don't have that beautiful sky to look at, and people are happy here.
If they're on vacation here, or even if they're not on vacation here, I love traffic, I don't mind it. I think it's okay, it means there's people here. It's good, it's not real traffic like the Northeast traffic. They really have something to complain about, we don't. That's true. I appreciate that. I think it's always finding that positivity. One of our values as an organization is we choose gratitude, and I think that's so important. Every day you have a choice. You can either find the negatives, or you can look for the positives.
Being able to choose gratitude and be grateful, because there's always so much more to be grateful for. I love that, I love that.
This morning I was getting out of the car, unpacking here this morning at Bayfront, and I had my drink and my cup, which is normally in the cup holder, and I was looking for a glasses wipe inside the car, and I bumped the drink, and the drink went right into the center console, the Tesla, the whole thing, like dumped into the center console. And I had business cards in there, and probably just Chachki junk in the middle of the thing anyway.
The whole thing was just empty and gone, so I just picked the whole tray up, took it out, and cleaned it out, and thought, oh, my morning. But I actually realized that whole area, I got so much stuff in there I don't need anyway, so I was like, all right, I'm gonna just throw most of this away, I don't need it. It took a little extra time, but I knew, now I don't always think that way, and normally I'm like cursing and upset, like what am I doing? But in this moment today I had this feeling of like, okay, well, that was meant to happen, I was supposed to spend an extra couple more minutes here, cleaning my mess up here, and cleaning my car out, and it's okay. Cleaner car.
Exactly, exactly. The car has a good coffee smell now. Yeah, right, my favorite, yeah.
My mind doesn't always do that, but this morning it did, it was like, okay, that's okay. That's no big deal today.
But my mind normally gravitates, but that's why I like to feed it, so I like to hear what podcasts people are listening to, or what books are out there, because I know there's a lot of great stuff, because I have to keep feeding myself with that, as well as being in conversations with people who are up to the same things too, people who are thinking about what's the solution, not what's the problem, finding better ways to live, love, and do life
However we can, so it's nice to be able to meet you and have this kind of conversation. Oh, it's so great to meet you too, and this really has been an honor, so I really appreciate just you having me on the podcast and sharing our story.
It's important. It's more awareness of what we're doing, and to get more people involved is really important, so I appreciate it. Yeah, no, I hope we can do our part in whatever we can, and I really mean that about whatever it is that we can do to keep you guys and your families moving on the right path. And when you're not listening to a podcast
And you have the tunes on, what is your go-to music that you're listening to?
I listen to a lot of Christian music, country
But I also like a lot of classical, no words.
I just enjoy a lot of, I'm an introvert, so I do a lot of extroverted things in my role
And so sometimes just having that classical, just calm, instrumental music, I just find it really soothing and really enjoy that.
Is there a specific artist in any of those genres that you could say, because we build a Spotify playlist of all our guest music, and I'd like to pull one or two from everybody.
You know, I can't even think of the names.
Maybe it's the Pregnancy Brain, but there's this one, Artist, and it's instrumental, but I just, there's a few, and some of his music's not a lot of different, like I love Hans Zimmer. Okay. There's this one, Artist, I can't think of his name, but he just has some really good instrumental music
And it's just really powerful. I love that I listen to it and evoke different feelings every time, depending on what I'm going through. Yeah.
Your music has that impact, I would say. Yeah, it really does, and I really enjoy
Sometimes I'm driving in silence, or it's a podcast
But I also really enjoy having that music, because it really does, can move you, change your mood, and can be healing at times, too. Yeah, there's a time for it, where it fits and you need it. But, I do have four kids, and we do listen, we do a lot of dancing and singing, and my four-year-old loves Frozen 2
So we sing a lot of songs from Frozen 2, and do a lot of dancing.
So that's on your playlist with you, like a-- Oh yeah, we got a lot of kids songs on there, but it's fun, it's fun. That's probably my favorite thing to do, is to dance and sing and play with my kids
And just, that joy of being a child
And being able to join them in that joy, and my six-year-old always has a little song on her heart, and always making up songs and singing. Yeah. So I love those moments. I love that. Yeah. Yeah. Why does that ever stop?
There's a point in life where we get to where you can't do that anymore, but like, I was talking to my wife about that, because she has this voice that she talks to, our 13-year-old, Morkey, Boo Boo. Okay. Here's our little princess who runs the house, and she has this voice that she speaks in when she talks to Boo Boo, which is a different voice than she, she's a doctor at Arthrax, and she speaks to spine surgeons in one way, and then she talks to Boo Boo another way, and I said, "Wouldn't it be interesting "if you talked to the spine surgeons "the same way you talked to little Boo Boo?" Or breakout in song, we don't do that in life.
It has to stop at some point, and just the way they live so free and self-expressed, and being able to dance with mom, just, yeah, that's special.
I love that about children, that they're just, they're not worried about what somebody thinks. They're not, they forgot what happened yesterday. They're not worried about what's happening tomorrow. They're so in the moment of now, today, this moment, no fear of the future. There's so much to learn from kids. And then preserving their childhood as much as possible, too. I just think it's so important to let them experience the joys of being a child, and that imagination, that carelessness, that just being able to explore and be a kid is just such a beautiful thing.
I remember a time when my daughter, when she was young, it was raining really hard, and she just wanted to stand in the rain and get wet. And we're so like, "Oh, it's rain, get inside!" She just wanted to let the rain fall on her and just feel the rain. Just feel the moment. Yeah. I love that. Yeah.
Yeah, we, that gets lost somewhere. Just the freedom to be, the freedom to be, whatever way we are in that moment is really special. That's why I love kids. Because like you said, there's so much to be learned from them just to see their spirit of love and unconditional. They really are the best in community. Yeah. And I think that's why it's so important just as a community to do everything and our power to make sure kids have the best childhoods that they can. Yeah.
They really are just so special and such a gift. Yeah. They're not, they're so pure, they haven't built up any walls yet. They're still just purely who they are and just willing to say whatever's on their mind. Yeah. Not gonna pretend anything because they're just authentic. Yeah. Yeah. They do say the darndest things, that's for sure. Yeah, I love it. Love when they ask me like, "You work in a hair salon? You don't have any hair." (Laughing) It's always on their mind. And they just say it, "I love it." It's just pure self-expression.
It's obvious, yeah, you're right.
(Laughing) Most people see it but don't say it, but kids, it's the right thing to say. It's what's on their minds, I love that.
If you weren't the CEO of Better Together and doing this in your life, what do you think you'd be doing?
You know, that's a good question. I mean, I enjoyed psychology. I went to school for psychology. So maybe counseling, working with kids.
It would probably be something with children and families.
That's been so clear and so evident
But just in a different capacity.
What is something most people don't know about you, but should?
Great question.
I had a pet alligator as a kid. Really? Oh, you're a real Florida girl. Real Florida girl. My dad used to catch alligators. They brought home a baby alligator and we had it for a while and I hated that thing. They didn't like it, no. Because he scared you? Why didn't he like it? He was just annoying. You're just kid, little razor sharp teeth and just-- Did he bite you? Oh yeah, nothing would really hurt or anything. But yeah, we had him for a little bit and eventually-- Would you keep him like an aquarium or something? How'd you keep him? I don't even know what my dad did. He brought home raccoons, possums, all types of animals.
But yeah, most people don't know that had an alligator for a short period, unique pet.
True Floridian. Yeah, an alligator, that's awesome.
Yeah, I have some funny pictures of, I mean, yeah, with armadillos, with my dad was a true outdoorsman and animal whisperer. Yeah, and then you just took that on, now you're taking children, the animals, right? My dad brought in all the wild animals.
I grew up bringing the kids. I would take the kids over the wild animals. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think I'm much better. What'd the alligator eat? You remember what you feed it? I don't even know. I just remember he would sometimes go in the bathtub with us or chasing him around on the floor. Because he'd run around the house. Yeah, he was little. He was like this big. They're fast though, huh? They're fast. Yeah. Yeah, he was probably not, like in my eyes, I felt like he was there for a while, but he probably wasn't even there for a week. Yeah. But he was there.
(Both Laughing) He was there.
That's, do you have a hidden talent?
No, I don't think so. I can lick my elbow. Okay, there we go. Yeah, that's got it. That's it, I've seen that one.
John, last week's guest was real good with the yo-yo. So we had a yo-yo. Oh, okay. Lick your elbow. So wow, I never even thought about that. I licked my elbow. Like you double joined it in some way. Like how does that work? I don't know, I don't know. Yeah. I don't even know how I discovered it. I could lick my elbow. Yeah. Okay, that's perfect. That's a great, that might be one of the winners on the hidden talent side. I love that.
Anything else that you wanna share, or you wanna add that for you or your organization or anything else that we didn't touch on that you think might be something we need to say? Or you wanna get out there? No, I don't think so. We cover the goods? Yeah. Okay. No, this was great. Yeah, no, I know your coffee drink is espresso
Primarily, but today you had cappuccino. But you're an espresso drinker. Yes, I am. Yeah, not many like that. That's me too. I'm all espresso. Yeah, love the crema on a good espresso. Me too. This is my-- So good. One of my favorite things is like an espresso shot with like dark chocolate. Ooh, nice. Like my afternoon pick me up. But I've been just limiting myself to one a day with this pregnancy. But I'm looking forward to having one. Good, you didn't cut it off. Yeah, you kept it in yours. Good, good, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm like, I need the little bit of caffeine. Yeah. Yeah, if I savor it, yeah.
Yeah. We have the espresso machines in the salon. So I, because it's, I got on my espresso. I love espresso, yeah. So I heard that's always your drink. Yeah, I enjoy espresso. Yeah, enjoy it.
What's, what are you doing after this tonight? Are you at Naples now or do you go back north? I'm heading back up to Cape Coral. Okay. And just have internal meetings the rest of the day, which is great. So looking forward to connecting with my team. Mondays are kind of like my team day. So, and normally we'll have meetings with our team and today we have a development meeting kind of preparing for our gala. Oh, okay, great, yeah. Yeah, we're getting close. So after this, we'll go over and talk to Marina and-- Okay.
Get that contact set up so we can do whatever we can for the gala. That would be awesome. And then also, how we can keep up, set up a pipeline. So if you want to send people to any one of our locations that we make sure we take care of them and however we want to set that up, we'll work that out, yeah, good, good. Very neat, yeah, thank you so much. Final question. Okay. Last one, promise. What do you love about your life?
My kids, my husband, just my family.
They just love them all so much.
And just to be able, we weren't anticipating a fifth baby, but we're so excited about him.
So I'm just, I feel like so blessed to have just the most incredible family.
Just so much joy., have you ever just, I remember last night, we were having dinner and just looking at them, like they're so cute. I can't believe they're mine.
They're just great kids.
I look forward to meeting, what's his name gonna be, do, yet? No, we don't have a name yet. So we have a short list, but hopefully we'll-- Anyone you're leaning towards?
(Sighs) No, I just know.
No, it's-- Can you share the short list? So we like Braxton, Tanner, Cooper, and Easton.
So we'll see, I don't know, it could change. Okay. Our poor son, when he was born, we kept shooing off the birth certificate people because we weren't sure on his name. And I feel like this is gonna be a very similar situation. Yeah, yeah. But you got your list down. We have some lists, yeah. We're making progress. I don't think we had as much of a list with my son. So I'm taking that as a win. Okay, so this is on record now, it's a moment in time. This is one of the names that you could be, young man.
Well, I look forward to meeting him and being on this journey with you, whatever we can do to, I'm glad we connected. Oh, me too, this was so great. Yeah, thank you. Thank you so much. It's our pleasure, privilege, honor for us. And I look forward to following your journey and being a part of your family as well. Thank you. God bless you. Thank you. Thanks so much. This is awesome. Thanks you guys. Yeah, thanks Zach. Thank you. He's gonna take a couple pictures maybe if you'd like. Oh my God, yeah, that would be great.